Manwich

Andy, I feel your pain:

(Though in my defense I didn't realize that we were actually dating. I thought we had merely been hanging out. Then there was this Tuesday night when I imagined we were going to spend the evening playing Scrabble as usual and instead she threw an awful lot of food at me. It was all in cans, which is what really offended me, to be honest, but the joke was on her: I scooped them all up and ate like a king for a week. Anyway, that's when the penny dropped that for the past three months we'd been having "relationship sex" and not "platonic friends who occasionally get together for movies and Scrabble" sex. Lesson learned; I emerged a better person for the experience. Plus, again, I had all that soup, stew, and Manwich sauce. So shed no tears for me, dear reader.)

Hopefully the lesson learned was: don't discuss relationship issues around small, dense objects.