Republican love-lickin'

The Mr. Sun blog has a wonderful list of tips on how to get laid at the Republican National Convention. Here are the best suggestions:

• Tell her that the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge isn't the only gorgeous, white thing you'd like to see drilled immediately.
• Warn her that, "No disrespect to W. but if a pretzel makes you gag, then maybe we shouldn't go up to my room and let loose The Monster."
• Let her know you're going to rock her boat, but it won't be swift.
• Before sex, spin it as a preemptive strike motivated by an imminent threat of not getting your freak on. After sex, point out that it turned out good, so what the hell is she whining about?
• Explain you just scored some good shit from Bob Dole, if she knows what you mean.
• Propose to marry her and state your intention to have intercourse for purposes of procreation.