How the economy works

Real GDP, inflation, interest rates, bah! Mike Thomas of the Orlando Sentinel knows why our economy is so strong:

I bought an Apple.

"Wimp," said a computer geek at work. I sensed the fear.

You see, he makes his living from the Microsoft Industrial Complex. It has piled so many worthless programs into your computer that an entire digital bureaucracy has developed in the hard drive to manage it. And like any bureaucracy it is unwieldy, inefficient and impenetrable.

Hence, we must have geeks to serve as our intermediaries. Lots of geeks.

Every time the evil geeks in Singapore find another hole in Windows, through which they can invade our homes, it creates more jobs for the good geeks.

The entire national economy, in fact, depends on the incompetence of Microsoft.

If everyone switched to Apple, the unemployment rate would skyrocket and we would fall into a depression. The government would be forced to give away Microsoft-based computers to stimulate the economy...

Does this mean I should stop trying to convince people to switch to the Mac? Am I a traitor if I continue to?