Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen

I saw a TV ad today for a product called "ProCede". It's one of the many products for balding men that "produces the appearance of thicker, fuller-looking hair". Note that they do not promise that your hair will grow back. (They do claim that the product will produce "results" and that you'll see a "dramatic difference".)

After making one of their boldest claims (which isn't saying much), the TV ad asserted:

We couldn't say it if it wasn't true!

This made me laugh hysterically, for some odd reason.