Real tourism

I just learned that Scott Adams shares my philosophy of vacations:

...This morning at about dawn, I was sipping some green tea and looking for more whales from the comfort of my condo. Suddenly I spotted a whale down on the beach. It appeared to be dead. This excited me because I’ve always wanted to see a dead whale up close. I couldn’t wait to finish my tea, grab my flip flops and take a better look. But in time, the light of day informed me that it was only a large rock.

The bottom line is that I spent a good 30 minutes being entertained by a rock impersonating a dead whale. Tonight I plan to drink some Grey Goose and stare at that rock again. This is a great vacation so far.

Not bad for a complete idiot

You know you want to read all about the Great Zucchini.

Quote of the day

Josh Marshall:

They're some of those basic questions young children learn to ask in civics class. Who represents me in Congress? And when do they go on trial?

Keep tabs on the news

This just in -- if you have a preternatural ability to spot the pink, then you may have a career outside of surfing porn.

That's a lot of pennies

A Volokh commenter with atrocious spelling/grammar comments:

My latest example of the math fiaasco was when I was visiting a large aquarium. The guide was explaining the large sea turtle hatched from an egg and only weighed an ounce. And doubled is size every single day for the first year of its life. I got the guy alone and explained that you cant double any number 365 times and not have a creature that weighed more than the earth itself. He politely explained he was a marine bioligist and in fact what he said was true. Try it yourself double an ounce 365 times and see what you get.

(Clearly this implies that all scientists are liars, correct?-- ed. Um... no. This particular museum guide was probably just trying to blow the kids' minds... with science! Ok. So why have you adopted one of Mickey Kaus' annoying tics?-- ed. Don't antagonize me, editor. I'll cut you.)

The new Motown

The Raconteurs (i.e. Jack White, Brendan Benson, and part of the Greenhornes) released two of their songs on the Internet today. Go check them out, especially "Store Bought Bones".

That is, if you have the balls. Well, do ya? Do ya have the balls?

Quote of the day

From MaxSpeak:

Forgive me for repeating myself, but for job growth, this has been one stinky recovery.

It happens that the extent of actual job growth can be accounted for by growth in public sector jobs. And there's nothing wrong with that. However.

The upshot is that the triumph of Republican-conservatarian economic policy consists of an expansion of government jobs financed by loans from the Communist Peoples Republic of China.

We kick ass and take names, damn it!

Why are we in Iraq?

Answer here.

By "F U", I really meant "Hugs and kisses"

Here's a story about fellow graduates of Troy Athens High School.

They seem like charming kids. Here's the short version of the story: a couple of girls get caught drunk at the prom. They eventually end up in court charged with MIP. Part of Judge Martone's punishment includes the order to not drink at all, and to stay away from places where alcohol is served. Later, the judge finds Internet photographs of the girls drinking, captioned "F U MARTONE". As you'd expect, the girls got hauled into court for contempt charges.

My favorite parts of the article are the following:

...[Mary] Meerschaert, now 18, later told Martone she [posted the photos and obscene captions] because she felt "betrayed by the legal system."...

..."It was sad," [Martone] recalled. "In [her letter to the judge], she said she wants to be a criminal justice major. I told her, perhaps you might want to consider another line of work."...

For those visual learners out there...

Oh, Google. You've forsaken your core principles so quickly.

Cheeky!

When someone writes a history of Slashdot, I can only hope this comment makes the top 10 list.

You may say I'm a dreamer

So Hamas won the Palestinian elections. Big deal! If Coolio can find it in his heart to talk to Weird Al again, then certainly there can be peace in the Middle East.

Crossing in style

We wouldn't have these problems if we just built a fence.

He's driven each nail flush

The first comment on this Dave Winer blogpost is one of the best put-downs ever.

(Winer's response is typical.)

The casino politely asks you to leave

Remember: the house always wins, even if it means harassing AIDS patients.

Let's play doctor!

With policies like this, it's a wonder that prostitution is still illegal.

I prefer to think of them as flats

An amusing review for a compilation of Tom Lehrer sheet music:

If you are a Tom Lehrer fan, this book is tops! I just wish he did not use so many sharps in his songs.

Love, peace, and hair grease

I have a history of pointing out Scalia's constant hypocrisy, so today I'll just let William Saletan and Publius do so.

The Ringer

Like Johnny Knoxville before him, George W. Bush is now trying to look and sound like a retard.

Say it, baby, say it

Are there any Wikipedia pages more amusing than this?

I'm not married to the idea

Here's an interesting thread all about modern marriage. Specifically, it deals with why it's such a raw deal for men. Quite a few insightful comments, too!

Don't call that dog Lifesaver

Steve Martin, The Jerk, 1979:

Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi.

I heard they gave Martin Luther King grief when he came out against the Vietnam War. He explained that he had equal rights, and was entitled to express an opinion about a matter of national interest. People told him to stick to civil rights. I know how he feels. People tell me to stick to technology. To which I say pfui.... [emphasis mine]

A kiss for Don?

Which is more embarrassing for Don: this photograph, or this photograph?

On Microsoft Office and Intel Macs

Some people are wondering when Microsoft will release an Intel-native version of Office for Mac.

Well, it's no secret that every single version of Office for Mac that's been released (including 2004) has been compiled with CodeWarrior. Now that Metrowerks is discontinuing CodeWarrior, the only way to write programs for Intel Macs is to switch to XCode.

Since development on the next version of Office for Mac is well underway, I highly doubt Microsoft will take the time to transition Office 2004 to XCode. Looks like you'll be running Office under Rosetta until the next Office edition.

One more thing

I am headed to San Francisco for the Macworld Expo. Any business proposals or marriage proposals must wait until Saturday.

Shut up, bunghole!

Huh huh... he said boner.

A joke waiting to be made

Try to wrap your head around this one.

Boost of confidence

If this loser can get engaged to a beauty queen, then I should have no trouble in the dating scene.

My privately-funded bureaucracy is inherently better than your publicly-funded bureaucracy

Kevin Drum's back, and he's as full of insightful, quotable pieces as ever:

...Bottom line: conservatives can't have it both ways. If high-stakes testing is the be-all and end-all of education reform, then their pet voucher proposals need to include the same kind of testing requirements that they demand for public schools. And if voucher schools end up doing no better than public schools, providing little more than a safe haven for a voting bloc that wants to protect their kids from learning about evolution? Then it's back to the drawing board.

The Florida Supremes did the right thing. Public money without public accountability is fundamentally wrong.

BY THE WAY: I'm sure I ought to know this, but what's the deal with all these recess appointments, anyway? Clinton did a few, but that's because he had Jesse Helms and Orrin Hatch to contend with. Is it really the case that Bush can't even convince his own party to confirm these losers? Or is there something else going on?

The square root of a negative number

I am not a big fan of podcasts, so if I recommend one, you know it's gotta be good.

Go right now and subscribe to the They Might Be Giants podcast. I lose it everytime I hear the phrase "the quiet whisper of two leaves having a quarrel over who will pay the bill".

While you're at it, if you like the song "Bloodmobile", check out the music video created by a fan.