"As long as people continue to ignore the lessons of history, there's always a chance that you will one day find love." -- The Onion horoscopes
posted at 6:28 PM

Kurt: Ahhh, I feel better. Finally got my palm working.
Jeff: LOL
Jeff: Read what you just sent
Kurt: :-[
Kurt: Get your mind out of the gutter!
Kurt: My Palm Pilot, silly!
posted at 1:54 PM

I've got one more funny article for you today, so I can make it a total of three. Apparently, at some hospitals, they leave messages for you while you're under general anesthesia. The fact that this happens isn't the funny part (rather, it's pretty disturbing), but the last quotation from Ms. DeForrest really takes the cake.
posted at 1:48 PM

I can't believe I didn't see this article until today -- it's a laugh a minute! Go Jacko go!
posted at 1:41 PM

Here's a must-read article from Shecky, the magazine for stand-up comics. My favorite part is when he rhetorically tells Osama Bin Laden "...how your cellmate, Bubba, is going to tattoo the World Trade Center towers on your butt cheeks and a commercial jet on his penis."
posted at 1:10 PM

Grand Theft Auto 3 for Playstation 2 has to be one of the greatest games ever.
posted at 12:10 AM

If someone who practices despotism is a despot, then is someone who practices nepotism a nepot?
posted at 7:32 PM

"Our response to violence is to make music more intensely, more beautifully and more devotedly." --Bright Sheng, composer, pianist, music professor at Umich, and MacArthur Fellow
posted at 11:25 PM

Impressive Piece Of Design; however, Idiots Price Our Devices. (from Wired News)
posted at 9:15 PM

Happy Mole Day!
posted at 8:15 PM

The iPod is such a wonderful device. What sets it apart from the other portable MP3 players:

1) It uses FireWire/IEEE 1394 to transfer data, not USB, so it goes much faster -- and the iPod recharges its battery using power from the FireWire bus
2) The iPod can also be used as a plain ol' FireWire hard drive in addition to playing MP3s

Unfortunately, Apple has made the same mistake with the iPod as they did with the Cube. The thing is $399 -- way too damned expensive! I really really want one, but I can't justify purchasing an iPod until the price comes way down.
posted at 8:13 PM

posted at 9:30 PM

I really shouldn't feel good about correcting a glaring error in my history teacher's statistical figures, but I do. And the best part is, I don't take notes.
posted at 4:29 PM

Happiness: Getting a parking spot at Hippo's Hot Dogs at lunchtime
Sadness: Realizing while in line that you do not have enough cash for lunch, and thus must take your car to the ATM
posted at 2:03 PM

This man goes to my school. I must meet him and thank him, for he made me laugh.
posted at 11:42 PM

"Back that asymptote up" --Mr. Tabar
posted at 9:14 PM

If you don't pay attention to the most recently updated blogs, you're missing out. Take for instance this interesting site. It takes pretentiousness to a whole new hilarious level!
posted at 11:13 PM

Just goes to show you that Muslim fundamentalist fanatics aren't the only people committing despicable acts -- apparently, so are the Christian fundamentalist fanatics.
posted at 2:03 PM

Jim: You could always be gay. But, mom and dad won't be too happy with it
Jeff: i don't want to be gay.. i like women
Jim: You just haven't found the right guy
posted at 10:23 PM

"Looking for honest, faithful man..." Etc., etc.

The headlines for online personal ads are such lies.
posted at 9:46 PM

Jim, I meant it -- someday, we need to start setting some of your poems to music.
posted at 10:30 PM

I supported public radio. How about you?
posted at 6:28 PM

Note to seventy-year-old man from Friday: The next time I encounter you on the road, and you drive two mph under the speed limit right up until the time when I just about finish passing you (at which time you go fifteen mph over), I will hit you with a lot more than a middle finger.
posted at 6:05 PM

How come the phrase "purple pill" is allowed in Nexium TV advertisements, but not in Eminem music videos?
posted at 8:28 AM

I feel your pain Lane, except that I wish I could be near a girl.
posted at 10:57 PM

I don't like that name Operation Enduring Freedom. I think we should change it to Operation Hobble Kabul.
posted at 7:24 PM

And the humor never stops. I especially enjoyed the Cuba Gooding Jr. bit.
posted at 1:39 PM

Currently listening to: Gilbert O'Sullivan - Alone Again (Naturally)
posted at 10:32 PM

"You can't clear your own name, but you can ruin someone else's." --Malcolm In The Middle
posted at 9:18 PM

I am so proud to be a member of the Athens High School graduating class of 2000. Look what a fellow graduate has accomplished in such short a time!
posted at 11:44 PM

Well, while I am glad that NYC firemen get great job benefits, I wish some of the reckless sexual abandon would work its way over to me.
posted at 12:58 PM

posted at 9:56 PM

"Let me see if I follow you: When bad people do bad things, bad people get the blame. But when good people do good things, God gets the credit? Excuse me, but if God gets the credit when people do good, shouldn't God shoulder some of the blame when people do bad?" -Dan Savage
posted at 12:06 AM

I have a bad feeling about this War on Terrorism... I suspect it will be no more successful than the War on Drugs.
posted at 5:24 PM